What goes around comes around.

That phrase usually has a negative flavor, but not for Ralph B. of White Center. Ralph, 44 years sober last Sept. 1, got that way because his employer fired him. Here´s how it happened, as he related it in a speech this past November at AA´s National Archives meeting here:

"I enrolled at the University of Washington in the spring of 1956…when I picked up another drunk driving arrest. I knew I was going to have to go back to jail. I dropped out of school and went to work for a wonderful man-a man who changed the course of my life. His name was Moe Dinner.

"AA sent a man known to many of you, Eric B., to address a group of businessmen, and Mr. Dinner was in attendance. Eric shared his story about what it was like, what happened, and what it was like now. Moe Dinner was so impressed with his sincerity that he went back to his place of business looking for an alcoholic to help. And when he found one, he fired me and sent me to Alcoholics Anonymous.

"…In those days, the age span of members was between 40 and 60. If you were under 40, you hadn´t suffered enough, and if you were over 60, it was too late. Eric didn´t think about my age. He just took me in hand and led me into the program."

That was in 1956. Just the other night, 44 years later, Ralph was the featured speaker at Moe´s birthday dinner, helping to honor an old friend who turned his life around. Incidentally, he is also now working as a consultant for the printing company from which Dinner fired him way back then.

When he quit the University of Washington that year, he never went back until, after years of sobriety, he was invited to teach in UW´s master´s program. He has also taught at Pacific Lutheran University and other schools. What goes around comes around.

Ralph came into AA at the tender age of 24, but he had already done his share of hard living. Drinking heavily, he joined the navy and was sent to a duty station in Guam, where he got into enough trouble to be court-martialed and sentenced to hard labor in the Marine brig there. "I was gone for two years. By the time I got back to Seattle, I was a full fledged, card-carrying, raging alcoholic."

Released and sent home, he married his childhood sweetheart, Dawn´a, and continued his heavy drinking. Ralph says she knew he had a drinking problem, but married him anyway. As his drinking accelerated, she began thinking of divorce until he was fired into sobriety. They have now been married 45 years and have three grown children.

Being forced to go into recovery taught Ralph a lesson he has never forgotten: any method that gets the alcoholic into this program to find sobriety is worthwhile. He is a wholehearted supporter of court-required attendance at meetings, for example. "Arm-twisting is a good alternative to coming in voluntarily," he believes.

Ralph has been a member of the Empire Way group for all his years of sobriety, and currently is leading an effort to strengthen sponsorship. "We´ve become less assertive in sponsorship over the years, and now we´re trying to change that. We are assigning oldtimers to work with new arrivals-take them through the Big Book and explain AA to them in a period of one-on-one meetings, get them sponsors and stop the revolving door."

These initial contact men are not intended to be sponsors, but mentors to the new members. Fifteen mentors have signed up so far. "They tell the newcomers about the importance of reading the Big Book, getting a sponsor, the seventh tradition. Among other things, we´re getting much better financial participation now," he said.

The future looks bright for Alcoholics Anonymous, Ralph believes, because so many "beautiful young people are coming into the program. When I came in, a young person like me-I was 24-was a rarity. Now we have many enthusiastic, articulate, exceptionally well-read young people, and they´re full of love. People are so much brighter today. They can see the path of destruction, the devastation of alcohol, long before we did. Part of that public awareness is the availability of treatment. It´s just wonderful. Another reason is that it is now much more acceptable to be a sober alcoholic."

Ralph takes a middle-of-the-road position on the touchy subject of dual abusers, many of whom are now coming into the fellowship. "I would prefer that we focus on alcoholism, but the longer I stay sober, I try to convince myself never to judge another person, their story or their approach to sobriety. I just want to love them and accept them and help them with their alcoholism."

Ralph has a long track record of service. He was one of the faithful who made the long trek to the state penitentiary at Walla Walla in the program´s early days, and to McNeil Island prison. "It´s time to bring back that more aggressive approach," he says. In 1967-68, he was a national delegate, the highlight of which was spending a week with AA´s co-founder, Bill W., and his wife Lois. "Bill was the most human, wonderful person you could ever imagine. I got him to autograph my Big Book, and when he handed it back to me, he said ´You will never be the same, my son.´ He laughed at his little play on words, but he was right."

Ralph is a popular speaker at AA events. Angus L., former Intergroup office manager, made a copy of Ralph´s speech to the archivists available for this article. Here are some of the highlights: "On April 19, 1941, the first meeting of the Seattle Group was held at the New Washington Hotel [now the Josephinum]…Three members were present, Carl S., Dave Williams and Bob E…The price of the hotel room was $4.50, but the group got a discount and paid only $3. The group didn´t meet again until the next month. Compare that with the situation today, with hundreds of meetings a week in the greater Seattle area, some on a daily basis. "

That November of 1941, the tiny core group paid a visit to Charlie Shaedel, who was operating Shaedel (now Schick Shaedel) Hospital for alcoholics. "This hospital has done a tremendous job over the years…They went there to try to get Charlie´s failures. Charlie thought it was a great idea…"

Changing to another subject, Ralph said, "I think we should always be grateful for that article by Jack Alexander in the Saturday Evening Post [published in 1941]. It helped spread the word across the nation and gave the answer to hundreds of drunks searching for a solution…"

As he concluded, Ralph praised the assembled archivists for their devotion to preserving the fellowship´s history. "Thank you for preserving that past. It has been an honor to be here tonight."

Researched by Angus L. Written by Dick S.