What's it like to be a young guy in Seattle these days?

Well, at the risk of generalizing, here's the story of one young guy who's turned his life around and now has a future that he can look forward to.

Jacob W., who's now 26, was a hardcore alcoholic and cocaine addict by his 14th birthday. Today, he's a leader among the city's young, working every day to help others kick the addictions which are devastating their lives.

It didn't come easy. "I grew up in an alcoholic family," Jacob said, "and started drinking when I was 12. At first, I loved the feeling. It got me out of myself. By 13, I was smoking weed and drinking pretty much every day. I was 14 when me and my brother were in a bad car accident. We were both loaded on cocaine.

"I lost my brother. He was brain-injured, and has been in a nursing home for the last 12 years. He's 29 now. I'll never forget holding him in the car, watching him bleed. For two years, I couldn't talk to anybody about it."

It didn't stop the alcohol and drug abuse, though. He dropped out of school that year, "but at least the drinking and drugging got me to where I could talk and say something about how I was feeling."

Two years later, he finished high school in an alternative school in Everett, but he didn't learn much. "I always came in loaded, and for the two years I was there, the shop teacher never let me touch a tool."

Jacob's brother had been a dealer, so Jacob was assured a ready supply of stuff until the auto accident. After that, he began selling on his own to support his habits. "By 16, I was getting arrested for selling crack cocaine." That led to an arrest and his first trip to the 21-day treatment program at Valley General Hospital. It didn't take, so he was sent back there two more times before he realized his life was in the tank.

"The pain just got way too much," Jacob said. "I was 19. I wanted to stop, but I couldn't. I'd wake up in the morning telling myself I didn't want to get loaded anymore. Then I'd take one drink to get started and it all happened again."

He went to jail on a felony possession charge on his 18th birthday, but somehow got out to go back to his job building fences. He had a tolerant boss. "I held that job for two years, all the time drinking on the job. I always carried clean urine around with me in case of a surprise UA (urinary analysis). But it was when I wrecked the work truck twice in one month that they had to let me go. I was just as glad. I didn't have time for work and be a full time user and seller."

He was 20 then, and really wanted to get sober, "but I didn't know how. I'd been going to court-ordered A.A. meetings since I was 16, but by this time I was going on my own. It wasn't working, though. I couldn't talk to anyone. Most of the guys were older and I couldn't relate to their stories. I know that sounds like an excuse, but I wasn't ready.

"For a year, I went to Fremont Hall in so much pain that I began to hear what they were saying. I still didn't know if I'd make it, but then I heard one older guy say 'If you don't wanta drink anymore, you don't have to.' I sorta heard him that time and grabbed onto that idea. Anything that might help!

"I was going to meetings every day. I still do. Three months after my last drink on Sept. 25, 2002, I got a sponsor and things began to get better."

Jacob has had a lot of difficulty with the spiritual aspects of this program. "When they talked about God, I wanted to run out of the room. I had no relation with Hfim. It's still hard today. When we went through the steps, I was just going through the motions. Then one day, I was reading the Big Book's chapter on agnostics (chapter 4, 'We Agnostics'). Where it said a spiritual experience can be a change of thinking, a change of attitude. That worked for me. Over time, the change in the way I feel inside is huge. My sponsor says as long as I'm trying to be a good person every day, I'm doing okay."

His discovery of service in A.A. strengthened the turnaround that the Big Book started. He began going to Lake City Young People on Tuesday nights, and soon got deeply involved in service and other activities. "Some of them had five or six years of sobriety. They dragged me all over the country to conferences and dances-San Diego, Montana, Orlando. The whole idea is to get more young people involved in this program. I just got back from Boise. I'm going to the International Conference for Young People in A.A. in Los Angeles."

In December, he started a meeting for youth at Fremont Hall. About 20 attend every week.

"Service has really changed my point of view," Jacob said. "Life isn't all about me. I used to have all that fear. I couldn't talk in meetings for a long time. The fear has not disappeared, but it's so much better. Like being here for this interview. I never could have done that before. I had to push myself to do it, but it's one more step to recovery to reach my hand out this way."

Jacob says the use of drugs other than alcohol is nearly universal among the youth he works with. There's no effort to cut someone off who starts talking about that addiction, and at Fremont, he said there's generally a "tolerance" policy. For himself, "I try to talk a bit about both problems, but most of my focus is on how I feel inside."

He has tried Narcotics Anonymous, but feels there's "a lot more sobriety in A.A. It's a much more solid program."

So how's life for Jacob today?

"Basically, 10 times better than it was. I never will go back to those desperate times. I don't want to live that way. A.A. has given me a new life. I have a lot more to learn and there's more to come, but today is good too."

Interviewed and written by Dick S.